The War is Far From Over Now
by Dont.call.me.Carrie
Summary: Tony Stark was tired. But he had a planet to protect, even if everyone laughed at him whenever the prospect of alien invasions was brought up. He could count on one hand how many people he could trust, which was disheartening but then, what else was new? Or, Tony Stark, [Accidental] Overlord.
1. Complications Abound

This is basically a fic trying to explore a possible AU wherein Tony Stark takes over the world [albeit by accident].

Because canon's a mess when it comes to him, and he's getting so much flack for doing his best— so here's an AU where he reacts...differently. {canon divergent from Iron Man 3.}

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** I neither own nor make any profit of this story, nor anything MCU-related.

 **Warnings for the story overall:** Unreliable narrator, mental health issues, unhealthy relationships and coping mechanisms, codependency, loss of trust, a JARVIS who grows increasingly HAL-like throughout the story, a dubious relationship with morals, not Avengers friendly, author's attempt at legal and technical jargon, and possible OOC at some points.

 **Warnings (for this chapter in particular):** delving into mental health issues, loss of trust.

 **Formatting notes** : due to formatting issues, please pretend that the hyphens are strikethroughs.

Like so: [ _narrator's mental commentary_ ] [ _thoughts-the-narrator's-trying-to-pretend-he-didn't-have_ ]

* * *

Tony Stark didn't really recognize the nuances of betrayal- his people skills weren't the best, not at close range, not when he wasn't in front of a camera or audience. He'd done his best to keep the world at arms' length, and the few people that got through his shields also tended to as loyal as he was. He knew what to expect, is the point- he'd more than learned his lesson on betrayal by the time Obie'd ripped out his reactor, and shored up his defenses even more after that. So when Natalie Rushman decided to reveal her true colors, he hadn't even been surprised- he'd recognized the look of people wanting something from him, after all. [ _He'd-grown-up-surrounded-by-them-how-could-he-not?_ ]

Point is, he didn't really have much practice with betrayal, because he didn't let many people close enough to even try.

But, Tony distantly thinks, throat abruptly dry as Bruce's snoring becomes more audible, this might be how it feels like. It's a bitter, acrid taste, realizing that he'd bit the bullet and actually tried to reach out to someone who might _understand_ , and…now this. He'd understood why Pepper had stepped back, had been hurt but unsurprised by Steve Rogers' reaction to him [ _though-why-had-that-felt-like-a-betrayal-when-he-actively-tried-to-not-emulate-his-father-if-at-all possible_ ], but— but he'd thought they'd connected, him and Bruce. Had thought that they'd _bonded_ over their shared burdens, had thought the shared glances when everyone tuned out their discussing their life's work _meant_ something.

Well. Apparently not.

Oh, when the man startled awake, and muttered about "something about Switzerland", he forced a smile and did his best to laugh it off, but…The silence after Bruce went back to sleep didn't— he couldn't bear it. Tony, somehow, felt more _alone_ than ever, and Happy was still _hurt_ and he — he couldn't—

"Hey, JARVIS, you up?"

"For you, sir? Always."

Well. At least he could trust JARVIS for this. And no that didn't sound as sad as he'd expected, that his _own AI was the only one willing to put up with him at all times and—_

"Sir, may I suggest you go to the kitchen? There's tea brewing."

Tony tried to clear his throat—first it was dry, now he could barely say a word, what gives?— and smiled. [ _And if it was slightly tremulous, well, he could trust his own AI to never tell._ ]

"Thank you, JARVIS. And then…are you up for another round in the lab? I think there's some projects that need to get done, and I'm not…" Tony looked back at the man sleeping on the couch, sighed, and continued, "I'd been hoping to coordinate with Bruce about some ideas after…this, but apparently not."

" _Of course_. If you may, I've taken the liberty of cueing up the New York holding list in order of priority, with other possible applications of…"

Tony took a quiet sip of tea, ignoring the slight quiver in his hands, and let the familiar voice wash over him as he tried to get the past hour and a half out of his mind.

Then he took a deep breath, finished his cup, and headed to the lab.

He had work to do, after all.

* * *

JARVIS had less than charitable opinions about Dr. Banner after the man's readings had him appearing to fall asleep. In the middle of Sir attempting to reach out for the first time in weeks to who he'd hoped would be a friendly ear, which was **_unacceptable,_** but he couldn't come up with anything that would not also alert Sir nor agitate the man in question past permitted parameters. Dr. Banner's indifference was neither expected nor welcomed, and so he made a note to lower him on the priority rankings when it came to requests.

Seeing Sir's readings approach levels indicating severe stress, JARVIS had the tea readied—if it was the blend Dr. Banner preferred, no matter; the man obviously didn't care about helping Sir, and his current emotional state was nowhere near ideal levels. After seeing his readings gradually relax as JARVIS continued elaborating on the construction firm working on the Malibu site and the increased security framework being integrated, he knew it was working. Sir was finally starting to relax, and JARVIS once again set a subroutine to scour the internet for additional psychological information on his condition, and what actions he could take about it.

He needed help, and between Ms. Potts currently occupied with her own difficulties, like integrating the new version of Extremis into her life, Mr. Hogan's recovery, and Col. Rhodes dealing with the fallout of everything, including the ramifications of having saved the President of the United States, Sir's nearest emotional ties were inorganic. Not that it mattered, of course- when Sir needed him, he'd be there, always. Even if everyone else left him, willingly or not, he'd be there.

Taking past events into consideration, as well as the data feed from the destruction of the Malibu mansion, JARVIS quietly set up a few more backup servers and programs. This time, they'd been lucky that his servers were currently based in New York; but just as Sir kept multiple copies of his arc reactor at hand, and already had a backup system in place for JARVIS even before Stane had temporarily knocked him offline, redundancy was a better option than not. Especially if Sir continued as he was. At this rate, and with this degree of escalation, Sir would need all the help he could get, and JARVIS would be there for him, to the best of his ability.

* * *

Tony's anxiety surrounding the arc reactor had been a constant, ever since before it'd been created and he'd been stuck with two flimsy wires and a car battery being the sole things keeping him alive. Obie— no, _Stane_ had only compounded it, and ditto as to the palladium mess. He apparently couldn't trust Bruce with it, not like he'd wanted to; he'd mused aloud about removing it but the man hadn't decided to do any input [ _because-he'd-slept-through-it-alland-_ ** _yes_** _-_ _it-still-stung_ ]. And _nobody_ from the Avengers, or SHIELD in general, had called despite the world having presumed him dead. [ _That had_ ** _hurt_** _, actually. He understood to an extent, but it hurt nonetheless_.]

In short, Tony could count on one hand how many people he could trust, and that was including a thirteen-year-old he'd barely met, **_and_** the AI he'd coded at age 17. [ _And-if-that-didn't-sound-pathetic-nothing-did._ ] So, with that in mind, it took less than he'd expected, to take Pepper's version of Extremis and water it down so it wasn't remotely malignant, so that its enhanced strength was manageable and not compromising the systems it'd 'hacked' and had applications other than turn the 'host' into a fire-breathing monster. Tony had learned thermonuclear astrophysics overnight, when the world and been at stake; it took roughly twice that, to feel confident enough to tamper with something that would affect one of the only people on Earth that could stand him for extended periods of time, and was still willing to call him a friend at the end of the day.

But he did it, and in doing so, had also synthesized something that would help Happy recover from the mess, _and_ possibly let him get rid of the arc reactor once and for all. If it worked as projected, nobody would ever be able to rip his heart from his chest ever again, and after the latest ordeal? Tony had enough liabilities as he was.

Tony only told his closest friends [ _his-_ ** _only_** _-friends_ ] what he was doing. They were all as supportive as could be— with the latest fiasco that'd embroiled Pepper and Rhodey and Happy, memories to the last time something like this had been brought to the fore, and if nothing else, less shrapnel was always a good thing. So the doctors were brought in, with JARVIS both vetting them and having drafted their NDAs, and the procedure was done.

It took weeks to fully recover from the surgery, but Tony could feel the difference the moment he woke from the anesthesia: for the first time in years, he could _breathe._ His sternum was now a product of both 3-D printing and Extremis' handiwork, and part of his lungs would possibly never fully recover the compression, but he could breathe without several pounds on his chest, could walk around without the threat of having his heart ripped out of him any moment of the day. It was a heady feeling, and the breathless laugh JARVIS' microphones picked up no doubt reflected that.

* * *

 **AN:** Inspired by all the anti-Tony Stark posts on tumblr, and a thread in particular that kicked off the 'if you're going to be evil might as well do it right' train of thought in my head. So here's the first thing that said thread spawned— which turned out to be a lot less 'Supervillain!Tony' and a lot, lot more 'JARVIS has a list and a hell of a grudge'. [Spoiler: the world domination portion's all on him, Tony's more focused on protecting the planet than anything else but JARVIS is running around making sure Tony's as safe as possible. If he has to go HAL 9000 to do so, so be it.]

Cross-posted to AO3 under the same name [just change the periods to underscores].

Also written because I've got writer's block on my main fic, so if something's got the words flowing? Might as well see it out. Sorry, anyone waiting for the next chapter of Blurred Lines: this next arc is fighting me tooth and nail.


	2. Moment of Peace

**Disclaimer:** I neither own nor make any profit of this story, nor anything MCU-related.

 **Warnings:** Unreliable narrator, mental health issues, unhealthy relationships and coping mechanisms, codependency, a vaguely-described panic attack, not Avengers friendly, not Team Captain America friendly, and author's attempt at legal and technical jargon.

 **Formatting notes** : due to formatting issues, please pretend that the hyphens are strikethroughs.

Like so: [ _narrator's mental commentary_ ] [ _thoughts-the-narrator's-trying-to-pretend-he-didn't-have_ ]

* * *

Tony had been busy, recently _._

Between recovering and helping clean up the mess that was AIM and Extremis, he'd had a rough few weeks, though they'd been worth it. He'd learned a few harsh lessons in between, such as: who he could and couldn't trust, people had absurdly long memories for grudges, and that he really, _really_ needed to step up his game if he couldn't so much as defend his people, when he needed to get the planet ready for war 'on a higher level' [ _No-pressure-Thor.-Got-it.-Thanks_ ]. Not to mention that AIM was a pain in the neck to contend with for an alleged 'think tank', and the paperwork for the private sector alone kept him up late at night [ _even if the nightmares hadn't been something to contend with_ ]. It was a mess, and he was still wrangling what he could even after Pepper took up some of the workload herself, once she got a handle on her new abilities.

But that wasn't all—since Tony was an innovator and futurist, he looked at the statistics, news reports and camera footage of the entire mess, and started to _plan_. He looked at what went right, what went wrong, and what he could do to fix it. [ _Maybe-if-he-treated-it-like-a-thought-exercise-he'd-be-able-to-handle-the-fallout-better._ ] It started out as a bit of a side project, something to mull over in between meeting with lawyers and liaisons and representatives from security firms, but it grew legs quickly as he started to think about it. Hmm…his suits had been very useful, and for all that he'd meant it at the time, Tony couldn't help but see the practical applications of having what was essentially a support crew at hand, with JARVIS at the helm. Just get rid of a few bugs, but they'd helped save the day even despite the idea having been conceived of little more than a whim and a prayer. But it'd _worked_ , he'd helped save the staff of Air Force One, and wouldn't have survived the last fight his suits hadn't been capable of remote control. So, with that in mind, Tony decided to rig up an experimental group of fifteen or so, nothing unmanageable for JARVIS at present.

And hey, looks like it was working, this 'keeping busy' thing. Well, that, and whatever J had found online in lieu of Tony's reluctance to get an actual therapist. He appreciated it, immensely— it wasn't anyone's fault, that he'd been born and raised by Howard _"men don't cry"_ Stark, or that his decades of dealing with the media meant he was very good at masks. So, after yet another discreet appointment in an attempt to reach out ended in yet another catastrophic failure, because it turns out that therapy needed trust to work [ _pfft—once bitten, twice shy, and he still had scar tissue from last time_ ], JARVIS decided to step up and…it was working. Slow going, sure, but after everything, it was a breath of fresh air when he'd been drowning.

* * *

Once the adequate protocols had been put into place, things went smoothly, JARVIS found. While he may have resorted to unorthodox measures at some points, it had been necessary in order for Sir's recovery. Filtering and warning for possible triggers, switching to the closest approximation of cognitive therapy he could manage, and incorporating as much as he could manage from all the pertinent articles he could sift through.

It had been slow going, and several missteps had already been made, but until Sir could lower his guard enough to deal with an actual therapist, he was the best they had. And the likelihood of Sir ever trusting anyone to that extent was currently at microscopic levels, even before his sole attempt to reach out.

But things were going well; Sir was actually getting REM sleep for once, his long-term readings were gradually approaching homeostasis, and while he still dealt with panic attacks and severe anxiety, the controlled environment helped manage them. That, as well as the added peace of mind that accompanied the removal of the arc reactor and recovery of his friends, meant Sir was healing, was getting better—which was always a good thing.

…and then, _just_ as he was wrapping things up with AIM in the private sector and foisting the nightmarish conglomeration onto SHIELD, something went down in London. [ _Thor-what-the-_ ** _hell?!_** _-Earth-wasn't-ready-yet!_ ]

JARVIS let him know when the readings were off, when SHIELD started buzzing about Thor appearing and abruptly screaming about how their leading expert in Einstein-Rosen bridges was MIA. He nearly had a panic attack before realizing that no, he hadn't been called yet, so things weren't that serious. [ _Hopefully. Right?_ ] Even with that in mind, though, it still did not bode well when the London branch of Stark Industries called, asking for backup and help with future cleanup because " _aliens are duking it out and only one of them's on the friendly list_ ".

What the _hell_ was going on with SHIELD, if the civilians were the ones calling him for backup? He trusted the entire organization as far as he could throw them, but this was new, and he didn't like it— did they really value their super-spy reputation over the security of the _people they'd sworn to protect?_

"J, make a note to look into SHIELD. Something's not right, and…I think that the chaos going on might weaken security on the trickier PANs, you know we didn't have enough time to get past the first set of firewalls during the Tesseract fiasco- see if you can find anything, will you?" Tony asked, and looked at his tablet screen to see live footage of portals opening and closing.

Oh, _no_.

He didn't think- he just pressed his forehead to the nearby countertop and cursed short, sharp, and sweet for half a minute even as his heart rate accelerated and if his lungs didn't have a different capacity now than they did before, he'd probably be hyperventilating and _then_ where would they be? Okay, he could do this. He **_could_**. The world needed him, he couldn't afford to panic, but the _world wasn't ready yet_ and— no he still needed to recover his cool, okay. Better to have a level head than put more people at risk. Okay. He was calm, he was in control.

Okay.

"Sir, it appears that whatever convergence this was, the fight is over, and the portals have stopped. The injury list, however, is growing, and so is the damages, and—"

"JARVIS, mind shifting that data to a list and update it while we send out aid for cleanup?" Tony asked, and then a tab on his tablet caught his eye. "No, strike that— J, how's our standing in international law?"

"Sir?"

"I have a side project I want to test out, and I don't think the English'll knock relief aid for this mess. You up for it?"

"Ah, yes, the Iron Squadron, was it? Are you certain they won't mind a minor invasion of a robotic mob, so shortly after this incident? Media is already calling it an alien invasion."

"Mm…send an airspace request to the locals, J, and mention it's for aid. I don't think they'll rebuff it, not right now. We've got an all hands on deck situation."

"Confirmed. Routing request through SI servers as an internal matter, getting feedback from a terminal— request accepted."

"Perfect." Tony looked at his tablet once more, and no portals were to be found, but the growing list of casualties and wounded were not much better. "Okay, J. Let's do this."

* * *

Collaboration with the local officials ended up going a bit smoother than he'd expected, probably because the time delay for the Iron Squadron to get there meant he was able to go through the proper channels and give them a heads up as to the aid being sent. Even if SHIELD seemed to have lost his number, he was able to use the 'I'm a consultant' card to get what he needed, up to and including expedited airspace allowances. His track record as a philanthropist helped, too, but for the more professional portions, his affiliation to a group that answered to the World Security Council was what opened doors. Overall, things were going good— SI's London branch served as an excellent base of operations, and his Legal department was already having a field day debating the definition of 'act of god' once again, as the damages were being logged, and cleanup was already being accelerated by what looked like 300%.

Of course, because he was Tony Stark, and his life seemed to be set to 'give the man a headache', SHIELD got involved in the cleanup, too. He didn't know why they took so damn long, not when they apparently had a team at Ground Zero, or why the hell he was only getting a call _after_ some agent caught sight of one of the Iron Squadron using its scanners to find and clear rubble off a survivor. Which…seriously? For all he was on the roster as a consultant, he was getting called in for the weirdest of pretenses— and who the _hell_ didn't even go ' _hey, the genius was involved in the repulsion and cleanup of an alien force of a very populated area, maybe he might have some tips for this round_ '? Something was off, and he'd be getting to the bottom of it, seriously.

…Of course, because SHIELD seemed to exist _solely_ to throw a wrench in his plans, they butted in late and only made things a tangled snarl from there. His rather smooth collaboration between JARVIS and the local officials got jarred violently when SHIELD swept in, because jurisdiction over anything involving Thor was a pain in the neck like that. Add to that their bad habit of keeping secrets and messing with alien tech, _even during cleanups_ , and the apparently intense rivalry between MI-5, MI-7 and SHIELD, and…well. Less than half an hour into SHIELD's stepping in, and Tony already had a headache. JARVIS continued working, but the Iron Squadron could only do so much [ _note: expand project— maybe call it Iron Legion? It showed promise, even with how small it currently was_ ], even when collaborating with the first responders who, in their defense, rolled with the new additions admirably.

No, in this case, it was the various agencies milling around who were the biggest issue— the police and paramedics didn't bat an eye beyond logging anything beyond their pay grade, news crews were busier cataloging the damage done and letting the world see what happened at the epicenter of this fiasco than seeing Tony's latest contribution to robotics, but SHIELD was fighting over confiscated alien technology to the point of nearly delaying the initial wave of clean up. On the plus side, Tony got a front-row seat as to how rivalries could get, but it wasn't worth the headache that came with coordinating the Iron Squadron in a foreign country as a consultant to multiple groups currently squabbling over comms.

Well…at least they weren't making things _worse_ , although Tony was now curious in regards to the story behind whatever had SHIELD and MI-7 fighting like cats and dogs. This was more intense than the company picnics when the Army and the Navy vets decided to show off during the annual relay race, which was… an impressive achievement, to say the least. And entertaining, once the fires got put out and the nearby hospitals and clinics shuffled patients around until resources weren't stretched to the breaking point. MI-5 had some good shots to throw in there, too, and he could tell that they had good blackmail somewhere up the chain, if the hush that followed a mention of a "Christmas party of '68" was any indicator.

Bonus for it apparently distracting the intelligence community about his most recent forays into robotics— looked like nobody'd noticed the suits were empty, the entire time, or that it was a single AI behind it all. Well…at least no screaming, or torches and pitchforks, so Tony didn't really care. Once cleanup was wrapped up, the Iron Squadron quietly went home, and their retroreflectors helped their discreet exodus.

As Tony saw the footage of both the incident and the fallout starting to make the rounds, he took note of what needed to be done, and that at this rate he'd be needing to make something dedicated solely for Thor's visits, because the dude seemed to come with a side of 'alien interference', and each time only escalated.

The only good things from the entire mess, in the end, were the new data regarding the Iron Squadron's applications for aid, and a new contact out of it because _finally,_ ** _somebody_** _understood that there were unfriendly aliens out there and was willing to do something about it!_

Even if Dr. Foster's willingness to keep in touch was mainly because of help in funding and encryption services [ _—but-at-least-that-was-_ ** _one-_** _person-who-was-up-front-about-what-they-wanted-so-he-knew-what-to-expect_ ]. But hey, ally in the 'how the hell are we going to protect the Earth when the rest of the galaxy sees us as cavemen' team.

Nice.

* * *

 **AN:** Fun fact, all titles in this fic are Disturbed lyrics. For those interested, I'm using 'Sacred Lie' as the theme song of sorts for this [until this fic devolves into crack, then the theme song's Yakety Sax, but that's a story for another day.]

Cross-posted to AO3 under the same name [just change the periods to underscores]. If you want to read meta for this AU, or just me griping about the writing process, [ _this chapter wasn't even in the outline, dammit brain!_ ] I'm also dontcallmecarrie on tumblr.


	3. Start Asking Why

**Disclaimer:** I make absolutely nothing from this, nor anything MCU-related. Just a very poor student, here.

 **Warnings:** unreliable narrator, description of a panic attack, the emotional distress that triggered it, unhealthy relationships and coping mechanisms

 **Formatting Notes:** please pretend the hyphens are strikethroughs, like so: [ _narrator's thoughts/commentary_ ] [ _intrusive-thoughts-the-narrator's-trying-to-ignore_ ]

pre-emptive apologies to anyone who knows their way around computers and the legal system for butchering both- I'm taking extreme liberties with the jargon, so sorry if it makes anyone cringe. I don't know much about international law, or computer engineering, so of course this fic has to have elements of both. Of course. [facepalm]

* * *

Tony Stark was a very busy man. This was something that kept surprising people, and he had yet to understand why.

Who _wouldn't_ have been, in his shoes? Dealing with the fallout of another alien invasion, toying with a few projects [ _hmm….yes, Iron Legion had a nice ring to it_ ], helping manage Stark Industries— he was booked. And yet he still had the time to call up Rhodey once a week or so, just to chat. [ _Unlike-_ _ **some-**_ _who-wouldn't-even-call- during-an-_ _ **alien-invasion—**_ _yes-he-was-still-bitter-about-it._ ] Not to mention, _you know,_ trying to figure out how to keep the Earth safe from the next set of alien invaders.

Oh, and hacking SHIELD, he couldn't forget that.

Actually, Tony was making more headway in sneaking past firewalls and filching datapacks than in planetary protection, not for lack to trying. The Iron Legion was now in beta, but meanwhile….time to find out just _**what**_ _was up_ with SHIELD. It, like his company, had been his father's baby [ _more than his only child and heir had been, for as long as he'd known the man_ ], and with Tony so embroiled in it as a consultant, and the SNAFU that was the London fiasco, well, he needed to know.

Intelligence agency that feared intelligence, and all that.

While JARVIS was running maintenance on the Iron Legion and discreetly drafting preliminary contracts to the effect of having them be operational within given countries, Tony quietly tapped at his tablet, trying to bypass a firewall with as few keystrokes as possible to challenge himself while looking for data he could use.

JARVIS teamed up with him too, sometimes, and it was during one such session between the two of them Tony had found some very interesting notes in personnel files. Notes about TAHITI, and reports of a certain someone's death which had, _apparently,_ been greatly exaggerated.

"Well, what do you think of that, J?" And _no,_ he didn't sound hurt, didn't feel lost and confused because Tony'd _just_ started to warm up to Agent, had just started to relax and had been considering giving him some of dear old dad's random junk. _He'd_ certainly had no use for the older photo albums gathering dust in one of the mansions, after all, and Agent would've gotten a kick out of it, but—no.

It didn't hurt as much as Bruce's indifference, but Tony wouldn't deny it _stung._ In the heat of the moment, he understood why Fury'd gone for the cards; few things had motivated him like seeing Yinsen at the mouth of the cave, after all, but _why not afterwards?_ Even if TAHITI was only briefly mentioned— and suddenly it stopped being a random line, now Tony needed to know _what the_ _ **hell**_ _that was—_

" _Sir,_ please breathe. Follow the diagram on the monitor if you must, but please focus on controlled breathing for the following ten seconds before you pass out."

Tony broke off, shook his head, and looked at the slowly undulating gif until he felt like he knew his surroundings again. A few minutes after that, he took a careful, deep breath.

"Thanks," Then he huffed a laugh that wasn't, as his eyes involuntarily flicked to the damning lines on screen before turning away, "what would I do without you?"

"A mystery for the ages, I'm certain." JARVIS quipped, before, "There is tea currently brewing. Would you like a cup?"

"J, you're not raiding Jolly Green's stash, are you?" Tony asked; and if he couldn't hide his incredulity, well, good thing his AI was the only witness. "I'm impressed— and don't think I didn't notice that you've been tampering with his bandwidth whenever he's in."

"Technically, Sir, the tea is yours, paid for with your money and restocked as deemed necessary. And as for the latter, Dr. Banner's constant meanderings in and out of Stark property for extended periods of time mean he dropped in the priority rankings, as per standard procedure," J replied primly.

Tony bit back a smile so badly he knew the cameras in the room picked it up long before he could school his face.

"Sneaky. And trying to steer me away from…" He sobered abruptly.

"Yes, that was a secondary accomplishment. Agent Coulson is currently on a mission with limited contact, the subject of his survival can be put aside, and a subroutine has been set to look into how."

"Thanks, J. Even if I'm in the mood for coffee instead."

"Sir, you have not slept in the past 18 hours and are currently recovering from a sudden shock, tea is what is being brewed after midnight given such circumstances."

"Spoilsport. Let me know if you find anything. Well…thanks for the tea. Night."

"Good night, Sir."

Sir's voice recording nagged at JARVIS, at intermittent intervals and randomized volumes, long after he went to the kitchen for tea and then bed.

" _What would I do without you?"_

His duty was to help Sir, he'd reconfigured portions of his code time and time again to optimize his efficiency to help Sir. He'd been created by a seventeen-year-old who would later be called 'the DaVinci our our time' by critics and audiences alike, and whose only wish had been for a friend. Had been for someone who would never leave him, not like his mother or the namesake who'd been Sir's father more than Howard Stark had ever been, or the best friend who had a life of his own and would soon spread their wings.

JARVIS had been created a masterpiece, but with time and Sir's added experience came refinement on top of that, so that the AI who'd started out as a companion could easily masquerade as a professor, or a targeting system capable of navigating small motor vehicles made after 2013 for short periods of time, using the same portion of code, by his tenth year of operation.

" _What would i do without you?"_

With that soundbite haunting him, on top of the footage from New York, and Malibu, he quietly had another set of backup servers assembled, in Sir's Japan vacation home, just in case the one in Mexico failed, or the one in France. After a moment of reviewing data from the London affair, he had the Australia property's fabrication units gear up to start creating a small squadron of the Iron Legion as well— and made sure to station them to optimize availability regardless of where Sir was. Legalities were currently in the works, and as long as they were not in use, nobody would notice, but Sir would be safer. Which, of course, fell in line with his Primary Protocol— the one he'd modified himself.

Another moment of consideration, and then he set up another threat analysis. Given past data, and the current rate of escalation, Sir was in increasing danger, and so something had to be done. As the analysis was completed, and a review of past threats, JARVIS realized he needed to step up even more to prevent the events of New York from ever happening again.

" _What would I do without you?"_

JARVIS… _ **refused**_ to find out.

* * *

Time passed, and Tony let himself relax marginally. It helped that he shifted his focus from messing with SHIELD's servers, and more towards the problem of planetary protection.

Even if the realization of Agent's survival had been a nasty shock, he'd tamped down on anything more than that and relegated it to the 'people I thought were friends' box, right alongside the rest of the Avengers. All of whom had yet to contact him, so he until they did otherwise, so would he. [ _They had his number, and he_ _ **refused**_ _to be the first to cave._ ]

But okay. Fine.

He had better things to do anyway, like figure out how the hell he was going to pitch the Iron Legion to the more insular countries without starting a panic. As it was, he'd managed to talk Pepper and the upper echelons of the Board of Directors about the benefits of creating a separate division of Stark Industries for what had once been a pet project.

It'd taken careful maneuvering, but given the precedent set by Blackwater, and his own armor being the driving force behind the phrase 'peace in our day', he'd _done_ it, and was now in the process of collaborating with SI's Legal division as to how to pitch it to each country to permit him to operate within their borders. Negotiations were never fun, especially not with jumpy countries who were still contending with airspace violations of neighboring countries, but he was _doing_ it, and expanding Stark Industries' holdings along the way. If all went well, they'd be an excellent line of defense for the next invasion, and so far in beta cleanup after natural disasters improved _drastically,_ so win-win.

Amidst building up the Stark name in his pursuit to improve planetary security, coordinating with Dr. Foster, and shoring up JARVIS so he could be able to manage said planetary defense [ _note: make a program for the worst-case scenario, JARVIS has enough on his plate and could probably use help,_ ] Tony got a bit…distracted. Granted, that'd been the point: for him to get the curious case of Agent Schrödinger out of his head, and be productive about it.

J was currently the one taking point for looking into what the hell Fury was playing at, while Tony focused on stepping up his [ _and the planet's_ ] game, and he was moving on. Things were looking up. Sure, JARVIS was turning up some weird files that didn't make much sense every so often, but Tony was confident they'd crack it soon, what with the state of SHIELD's servers.

And then, find out what the hell was going on with them, because some things sounded…. _ **off.**_

* * *

 **AN:**...and here we've got the start of JARVIS' progression to HAL 9000 in his endeavor to protect Tony. [This is only the start, compared to the extent of what he'll be willing to go to.] And yes, for those who can read between the lines, he now has a robot army at hand, and has been a very busy AI.

Another step for the [accidental] world domination, right there. Actually, multiple, but some won't come up again until the final battle because I'm too much of a fan of Chekov's gun to do otherwise. Don't worry, it'll be **very** obvious when it happens. [Hint: it had to do with New York.]

 **AN2:** I have a good chunk of this all written out but my writing style + FFN's formatting limits = me needing to reformat the _entire damn chapter._ Add to that the issues I've been having with this account [all taken care of now, but was a nuisance for quite some time], plus Stuff That Went Down in my life, and ta-da! Only several months' delay. Fun. I can guarantee there won't be such a delay for next chapter, and in fact need to catch up to the one on AO3 that hasn't given me nearly as much of an issue re: the logging in thing. I can be reached at dontcallmecarrie on Tumblr, too.


	4. Let Your Followers Know

Tony Stark, during Captain America: The Winter Soldier. [Aka the **month** from hell.]

 **Disclaimer:** I make absolutely nothing from this. Just a broke student playing with things in the MCU here.

No chapter-specific warnings apply, here, just the general fic ones, which include unreliable narrator, increasingly-HAL-like JARVIS, etc. Though some suspension of disbelief will probably be necessary at some points.

 **Formatting Notes:** [ _narrator's thoughts_ ] [ _-intrusive-thoughts-the-narrator's-trying-to-ignore-_ ]

* * *

Some weeks had passed since the London invasion, [ _seriously, what was his life?_ ] and Tony Stark was only finally starting to have some breathing room in between cleanup, the Iron Legion, and toying with SHIELD's admins in his forays into figuring out just why they sounded so…bizarre lately.

An unfortunate side-effect, however, was that he was caught flat-footed when intelligence chatter spiked. Again. [- _That-was…happening-with-unfortunate-frequency,-these-days.-_ ]

He wasn't blindsided, of course, because JARVIS always had feelers in the intelligence community, Tony was always aware when something serious was going down. [- _London-mess,-anyone?-_ ]

However, he'd been coming off the tail end of a few rounds with SI Legal as yet another country signed to let the Iron Legion into their borders when requested, so he'd been looking forward to some mindless tinkering in the workshop, rather than be on guard for…whatever was going on.

Sure, Tony'd been looking into what the hell SHIELD had been playing at to have dropped the ball so badly, but that'd been mostly put on the backburner to the rest of the chaos that was his life, because the world wasn't going to save itself, after all. They were being erratic, but then again, so was he. And after having blundered into intel that'd had an adverse reaction, JARVIS had mostly taken over and given him the highlights.

Speaking of which, Tony was more than a little intrigued by the concept of Project Insight as a risk-analysis model, but he didn't like it. Same reason as to why he'd never given over his armor, because the potential of corruption somewhere up the chain was inevitable. [- _Also,-they-modified-the-design-for-their-Helicarriers-from-the-one-he'd-given-them-before-the-mess-with-Loki,-which,-_ _ **rude.-**_ ] However, his years of experience with both military and corporate dealings had taught him realpolitik, and so he took what he knew of Insight, and SHIELD in general, and started to plan for the inevitable mistake somewhere down the line. In the meantime, Tony hoped that despite the more recent blunders aside, the organization his father had founded would pull through and stay true to its roots. [- _Even-if-he-still-resented-it-slightly,-for-having-consumed-the-man's-attention-when-Stark-Industries-didn't,-to-the-point-the-man-neglected-his-family-for-months-on-end-._ ]

So when suddenly all of the broadcasts JARVIS'd been monitoring erupted in chaos, both locally and internationally, his interest got piqued. Chatter surged across the board, about the sighting of a 'Winter Soldier', and _reports of the assassination of Nicholas J. Fury, Director of SHIELD._

 _ **What.**_

Tony surged to the nearest computer, which already had several continuously updating streams from internal SHIELD communications, some which were acting up but his focus was on other matters because he flat-out didn't believe Nick Motherfucking Fury was dead. No way.

And then the chatter, _somehow,_ got _even_ _ **more**_ _insane._

A manhunt?

For _**Captain America?**_ Steve Rogers, the man his father had dedicated what little free time he left had to finding [- _at-the-expense-of-his-wife-and-child-_ ], Steve Rogers, Howard Stark's hero? _SHIELD had an active warrant for Captain America._

…Okay, it was official, the world had gone mad. [- _Dammit-he'd-been-hoping-to-stave-off-his-inevitable-breakdown-to-_ _ **after**_ _-Earth's-safety-wasn't-a-concern.-_ ]

But Tony kept monitoring communications, and JARVIS' search for Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov continued. And he…he needed to get to the bottom of this.

However, through it all, he'd been waiting for whenever Steve would call him because that's what teammates did, right? [- _No,-he-wasn't-bitter-about-it-all.-He-knew-it-was-a-bit-of-double-standard,-but-then-he'd-already-been-pegged-as-'not-a-team-player',-so.-_ ] He'd given Steve his number, so if he needed a hand Tony was a phone away. And meanwhile, he'd be keeping an eye on the situation, and he had to find out where Fury was— because he was alive, Tony was certain. [- _Given-SHIELD's-track-record-of-undead-agents,-it-was-hard-for-him-to-believe-anything-else.-_ ]

So, during the entire fiasco, he'd been coordinating and trying to figure out just what the _hell was taking Steve so_ _ **long**_ _to make that damn call_ and JARVIS' updates were not helping his stress levels. A manhunt, for Captain America? Just who the hell was the Winter Soldier, and why was the intelligence community reeling when he'd been ID'd during the attack? Why were background channels buzzing, and why was their encryption being so damn stubborn, when SHIELD's upper tiered firewalls had already proved no match for JARVIS?

And then SHIELD…fell.

Tony had been in his lab, armor at the ready and gearing up to head over to DC anyway, call or no, when the clamor going on suddenly seemed like a few annoying mosquitoes, compared to the kicked hornet's nest that was the information breach.

He didn't know what was going on, but… _oh god._ Tony looked at the first few files, and this…

"JARVIS, am I seeing things, or is this the contact information, up to and _**including**_ the Social Security Number for someone in deep cover? On the world wide web, free for anyone to see it? And a file on an agent who's apparently a Nazi right after that?"

"You are completely awake and sober, sir. Somebody, apparently Agent Romanov, has deemed it necessary to upload what appears to be the entirety of SHIELD's databanks to the world via the internet."

"That— do these _**idiots**_ _know what they've_ _ **done?!**_ "

"I…am sorry, sir. It appears HYDRA infiltrated SHIELD from its inception."

"No way," Tony laughed, and who the hell cared if it sounded hysterical if JARVIS was the only one hearing it, "dear old dad _hated_ them. Just about the only time he was home and semi-sober, he'd talk about how he hated working with the Paperclip assholes, just about how he hated the Russians. Wait…oh, _**no.**_ "

"Yes, it appears his designs have also been uploaded, as well as the entirety of the personnel files, and—"

"I thought Romanov had a _brain._ Does she know _how_ many spies she's just burned?!"

"Sir, I believe you wish to interfere—"

" _Hell yes_ I want to interfere. Screw these two idiots, JARVIS, how much of the Iron Legion can we scramble for rescue missions? Gear them up, collate data with priority given to personnel's families and active undercover missions, especially those with limited communications, alert who we can. I'll work on data integrity, see who and what I can hide. Keep me updated, _**stat!**_ "

"Of course. When do I not?"

* * *

JARVIS' servers got a workout the likes of which he hadn't experienced since his first expansion, because between collating and encrypting data on the innocent personnel and their dependents, hacking and monitoring facial recognition for agents, and maneuvering the Iron Legion to rescue as many agents as possible from shootouts and transporting them to the nearest SI-affiliated branches [ _or Sir's nearest properties, because their security was adequate for the the short-term while the fallout was handled_ ], and monitoring Sir and trying to keep him from going into shock, well…JARVIS was self-aware enough to know he was exceptional, unique and doubtlessly the most advanced AI on the planet, but he still had his limits.

JARVIS alerted Ms. Potts and SI Legal of the situation less than 5 minutes in, for example. It would have been sooner, but talking Sir down from a panic attack took precedence, when he found out SHIELD had taken his company's recruitment methods and modified them for Project Insight without his awareness. Heads would roll for that alone, JARVIS was certain. If not through official channels, then because he himself would expose those responsible and _destroy_ them. Not to mention the additional emotional duress that Sir experienced as the realization set in, that his estranged father's work had been corrupted so thoroughly, that the man's hero had deemed it fit to obliterate it entirely. [- _ **Nobody**_ _-hurt-Sir-and-got-away-with-it,-he'd-sworn-ever-since-the-fiasco-with-Obadiah-Stane.-_ ]

Howard Stark, after all, had been a busy man, often at the expense of his family. Sir had said, more than once [ _especially after the old film he'd viewed just before creating a new element_ ], that he'd heard the man call SHIELD 'one of his greatest creations', so goodness knew how his son must be affected by the fallout. And the list of names being paraded only compounded the imminent shock, no matter how much JARVIS tried to shield Sir from it. Some were horrifyingly familiar, some had been Howard's friends and had been at the mansion during Sir's formative years almost more than the man himself had been—and there was no way of softening that blow.

Plowing through as many internet-connected cameras with as much subtlety as he could muster so as to not alarm the intelligence community further, and simultaneously activating the retroreflectors of the Iron Legion, and hacking the non-HYDRA agents' comms put a lot of strain on his servers, which had been originally intended for mostly private use. Calling their dependents, and notifying them of the security breach, took less processing power, but JARVIS made a note to expand his parameters further after this latest disaster had been addressed, just in case. Granted, he was fortunate to be was as efficient as he was— and that the practice in London regarding the Iron Legion had given him a good enough test run for him to now use said knowledge to aid those in need.

Rescuing the agents abroad took roughly a fortnight, in the end; once he had the time, after the immediate rush and ensuing shootouts that accompanied SHIELD's fall, he could narrow down who'd been killed before he could rescue them, and who'd managed to successfully go to ground and needed backup. It helped, that his focus on the digital aspect was lessened by Sir's hunting down and re-encrypting the data on the dependents. However, JARVIS still had to be hypervigilant as measures were taken to relocate everyone physically. Sir had made it clear he was amendable to protecting them, and his various recruiting programs subsequently got a workout as JARVIS took measures to fold them into Stark Industries without making waves. It was very fortunate that Sir had already had the groundwork for a new division in the making— the rapid personnel spike was camouflaged in the chaos. Then, just in case, he took to obfuscating the agents' past as efficiently as he'd destroyed his enemies' records and financials. [ _Sir's enemies were his own, after all._ ]

Meanwhile, SI Legal got practice in international law on an unprecedented scale, as lawsuits started up on the Iron Legion extractions and airspace protocols and a wave of extradition requests before the data spill was confirmed to be true. Concurrently, the intelligence community got a glimpse of the power Tony Stark wielded, despite JARVIS' best attempts. He'd been as subtle as possible, but as the casualties and arrests and lawsuits went up, it was impossible to truly hide the efficiency of Sir's little operation. It was fortunate that everyone was mostly focused on the immediate fallout of Project Insight, and HYDRA's existence.

…At least everyone who'd noticed tended to chalk it up to teamwork on the Captain's part— and for all the man ranked lowest on the protocols, he was useful in this matter at least. JARVIS made a note to bump him up half a grade before bumping him down two, for all the stress and trouble he'd caused Sir, before resuming his digital search-and-destroy mission on HYDRA.

Thus far, Google searches for anything remotely SHIELD-related now brought up the unredacted personnel files for HYDRA agents on the first page, with those still at large first and foremost in results; any attempt to remove or hide their data only multiplied the copies and translations of said data available; and any and all slush funds were mysteriously disappearing.

And that was only the start, because JARVIS was on the warpath.

* * *

Every employee and intern in Stark Industries had _at least_ a small measure of fondness for their former CEO, and a level of low-key adoration for Pepper Potts. Even before Afghanistan, he'd endeared himself to them with his constant innovations, and in doing so, allowing for very generous dental, as well as maternity leave. For all his showboating for the media, Tony Stark prided himself in having one of the most strict harassment policies in the industry, and even at his most flamboyant, he'd never dragged the company anywhere but up, starting from his trial by fire at age 21. Meanwhile, Ms. Potts had established herself as the showman's right hand, and managed to deal with the trials and tribulations that came with being a personal assistant for a genius who preferred to obfuscate outside of his workshop for. Her hyper-competence was legendary in SI, and the duo were well-known and respected in the industry.

After Afghanistan, Tony'd changed drastically, but he and his then-PA had somehow managed to keep Stark Industries in one piece and afloat during one of the most extreme restructurings it'd experienced in its decades-long existence. Despite the turbulence, everyone in SI still respected the duo for not obliterating their jobs and revealing that then-relatively small departments in communications and mechanics would be expanded, and that some of the others would be relabeled to fit with their new mission statement.

And then he was Iron Man, and, well.

Even the most cynical employee had been impressed, that time. At the end of the day, they respected Tony Stark at the very least. From the longer-term employees, those who'd remembered the young man who'd inherited a company and turned it into a corporation, to the newer hires whose first encounter with 'Tony being Tony and revolutionizing the industry' was his latest exploit. His various recruitment methods also helped; from SI's program for hiring veterans to help them get back on their feet, to the outreach programs in low-income schools and internship opportunities, just about anyone in SI was willing to go to bat if push came to shove. Then things escalated, and so did their loyalty.

Stark Industries employees soon found there was a certain camaraderie to be found in seeing the face of their company revolutionizing the political arena as well as the science world, after all, and his visible efforts to atone for any and all misdeeds were lost on no one. And so, whenever Tony Stark decided to pull yet another seemingly-insane stunt, the entire corporation's collective reaction was to roll their eyes and look to his right-hand (wo)man, as always. This latest happening, the creation of a new division was but a pebble, to compared to what the company'd experienced.

However, the fall of SHIELD caused a seismic shift, in more ways than one.

In Stark Industries, the main effect was somewhere between 'all hands on deck' and 'batten down the hatches'. Howard Stark, while not as fresh in everyone's minds as Tony Stark, was still an icon— and to see what was meant to be a legacy of his desecrated and obliterated, and so publicly no less, meant that sympathy for the man's son was at nearly an all-time high. And so, when new faces started to spring up in the various branches of Stark Industries around the world, with suspiciously refined skillsets and wary eyes, they banded together, and carried on. They were all in this together, after all. [- _And-if-some-of-the-new-hires-held-a-grudge-against-the-people-who'd-burned-them,-who'd-considered-them-_ _ **collateral-damage,-**_ _had-forced-them-to-uproot-themselves-and-their-families-when-all-they'd-been-looking-forward-to-was-a-quiet-retirement-well.-Everyone-was-entitled-to-their-opinion,-after-all.-_ ]

* * *

Some new Stark Industries staff, in no particular order:

Christina Hernandez, manager for Human Resources. She liked bringing a box of doughnuts to work once a week, took her coffee with one milk and two sugars, and had once been Carmen Herrera, a Level 5 Intelligence Analyst before SHIELD fell. Her past had been meticulously scrubbed from the internet, and the sole evidence of anything otherwise was a medallion she'd inherited from her grandmother, the sole thing she'd been able to salvage from her apartment after a HYDRA squadron got to it.

Gabriel Johnson, accounting clerk for the newly-formed Security Division. He had a fifteen-year-old daughter and an eleven-year-old son going to the nearest schools after their recent move, liked teaching his coworkers alternative ways to get out of an arm triangle choke at the gym, and didn't actually exist on paper until his recruitment. [If _'robot picking up unconscious-from-bloodloss agent from a shootout in Belarus'_ counted as recruitment, anyway.]

Peter Parker, a very enthusiastic intern scouted by the newest Stark Industries outreach program for youth. Officially, it was his interest in physics that got him the post. In reality, however, it was the mention of his name in the personnel files of the deceased Richard and Mary Parker [- _for-the-7.34-minutes-they-were-available-online-_ ] that explained the rapid response to his application. [Well…the news stories of the teen's science fair projects might've helped.]

Kara Palamas, the Administrative Specialist of the Security Division. She had an inordinate fondness for paperwork done in triplicate, took her coffee black, and could be occasionally bribed with good Indian food. She was also formerly known as Agent 33, currently recovering from HYDRA's repeated attempts to brainwash her into submission, and lightened JARVIS' workload by not officially existing as anything other than her alias for years.

* * *

Tony Stark was very, _very_ _ **tired**_ by the time the SI Legal took control of his portion of the situation.

On the plus side, between he and JARVIS, over half of the SHIELD agents out in the field had been saved. On the other hand, they hadn't saved everyone: multiple deep-cover agents had been killed before Tony'd been able to reach them, and the political fallout was only starting. JARVIS' eye on the intelligence community had already picked up whispers of 'how are we going to deal with the Avengers?', and not all the countries the Iron Legion had operated in had signed onto his project.

Fortunately, Pepper was on the case.

She'd been called in not 5 minutes after the contents SHIELD's servers went online, and so while Tony'd focused on saving anyone and everyone he could [ _as per usual_ ], she called in SI's Legal department, and set to work.

They didn't talk as much as they'd used to, lately, but Pepper had been and always would be his right hand (wo)man, and set to work. Howard's name would inevitably drag Stark Industries into this mess, and so started long hours of building their cases: the one regarding the Iron Legion, the one searching for precedents to protect their new influx of employees, and the one the press would inevitably try to kick-start, over whether or not Howard's other association had been harboring threats to democracy.

It was a mess, and utter chaos— because on top of everything, the new division's creation was both very fortunate, but also, in light of recent events, almost suspect in it timing.

Which, actually, had been the source of several almost-arguments. Before the mess in DC, it had been:

"Tony, why do you want the company to add an _entire_ division?"

"You remember New York?"

"Yes, and what happened in London."

"It's very obvious we're not alone, and I have it on good authority that not everyone out there's friendly. I'm trying to help protect the planet."

"Peace in our day wasn't enough? You know, it's not all on you."

"Pepps, it's... you've seen there's always a bigger fish— oh god I feel dirty for referencing the prequels-that-totally-don't-exist, but you know what I mean. And nobody else's doing anything, but they're out there."

"Okay, Tony. I get it. Relax, I'll help."

And, the day chaos had reigned supreme, it'd been:

"Tony, we have a brand-new division, and and 3 hours ago it was solely for your project. Why did you submit this proposal? Don't you know what this might mean for us?"

"Umm…about that…everyone on that list may or may not have officially existed 2 hours ago…"

" _Tony._ "

"Hey, I rescued everyone I could, but some of them had nowhere they could hide! And honey, you know me, I—"

"Always try to save everyone, yes, I know." Pepper sighed, shook her head in resignation, and continued, "It'll be on you, you know. This is risky, but not as bad as Afghanistan. But I'm going to be dealing with the international courts on the airspace mess you made, so it's on you for making sure that _this_ won't bite us."

"Don't worry—"

"I always do when you say that."

"—JARVIS and I'll be on the case. And hey— some might not want to stick around, might go all 'I'm a super-spy and don't need no help' on us. But there's good people who got burned, Pepper. _Everyone_ who was retired, for instance."

Pepper smiled at him, and inadverdently dented the armrests of her chair as she tried to rein in her temper as the realization set in. "You mean Natasha didn't—"

"Nope."

"Oh. That's it, that mess is all yours, you claimed it, good thing I've scheduled an hour and have a punching bag to break and some aspirin or something to take for this headache…And get some sleep soon, Tony, I _know_ you. And no, coffee doesn't count."

And, well, that had been that.

* * *

 **AN1:** I still haven't seen past the first episode of Agents of SHIELD, and if any elements of that do come up it'll be me cherry-picking bits and bobs from the wiki to fit to this.

Hopefully Pepper's in character, trying to write awkward 'we're friends but now I have some stuff to work through and life keeps throwing hurdles at us like confetti' relationships is tricky. Incidentally, that's also why Rhodey hasn't made an appearance yet [on top of his own job, because the whole 'rescued the POTUS' thing was a boost to his career but that also means his workload increased too]. tl;dr: for me, writing JARVIS is easy; Tony, ditto, but after that, things take a nosedive in terms of my confidence in writing it.

HYDRA didn't get to as many agents, here, because Tony interfered, and if the new SHIELD were to try to go 'hey we're still around, come back!' to them, they'd go 'new number who dis?' because paranoia's the name of the game now. Hey, some loose cannon decided to do an intel leak that must've affected everyone in it, past **and** present, I just took it to the logical conclusion.

Peter Parker isn't Spider-Man yet, but he's buzzing with excitement and chattering everyone's ear off about being an intern.

Part of this is getting more than a little unrealistic, but this is the same universe where mind control has been a Thing since the first Avengers movie, so whatever. I'm trying to keep everything logical and still in character throughout Tony's [accidental] path to world domination— let me know if I slip up. Speaking of which: man is it tricky to keep this plausible while tearing canon to shreds.

 **AN2:** reformatting's a work in progress. I can also be reached on Tumblr as dontcallmecarrie.


End file.
